And I want to repeat all of this again, put words on it. Tired, I'm so tired. And that scares me, so hard, so much, thats it hurts. I don't know how I've got there, I'm just afraid that by dint of playing with myself, making fun at me, loosing myself, that I have really lost myself, and that there's no turning back. Did I lose my last shot ? Only seventeen and already wilted ? That's pathetic, so pathetic that it makes me laugh. Better than crying, right ? I just .. don't understand. How I'm supposed to do it now ? How I'm supposed to succed ? Be this person I always wanted to be ? This person I HAVE to be ? This is not possible. I am a fighter, I've always been a one. So what does it miss me ?